Conductors are very mesmerising. and they are very charming people. they have powerful abilities to command respect while they are highly charimastic and are able to relate to all the orchestra members. With strong memories capable of remembering names and characteristics of all their members, some of the members would inevitably fall in love with these charming individuals.
i realised that hc never had much impact on me. or perhaps i should say that i don't have as much feelings for her as much as other institutions in mmy life. i didnt enjoy my time there as much as the times i spent in say nanyang, or even nus. in comparison to the impact hc seemed to have on many of her students.
maybe it was the expectations after nanyang that made hc seem less 'meaningful' in a way. or that the sense of achievement just wasnt there. nevertheless there were some good friends made. but ultimately, i have realised that girls are still more reliable at the end of the day.
being in the physics stream made me spend more time with the guys instead of the girls. but ultimately, you are still seen as different from them, in their eyes, in my opinion. to be in the class with lep girls is my luck and honour. and ultimately gave me some perspective into these frieends with an enthusiast for chinese, a language i enjoy but didn't like studying for.
but really, despite how i thought i was, i suppose they didn't really care and bother. after all, i dont' really start conversations.
now that i'm going into landscape, i've realised that i'm enjoying the lessons again, for now. and it's a pleasure to hang out with my studiomates. i suppose that's really why i look happier, despite all the late nights. the nonsensical talk and laughter i have always enjoyed is back. with you and all. but i suppose i don't really realise. i really like all the excursions. and our small size is really much more conducive, both in inter-personal relationships and academic effectiveness. but still, there is always that angst when whatever i do is not recognised and appreciated. the stubborn-ness keeps wanting to fight.
i think i'm too used to the 'good life'.
ultimately, i need to work hard and do more. at the end of the day, i'm accountable to hdb, the institution i always had taken an interest to, but never expected to really get there, which is quite amazing. suddenly results have so much significance now that the papers are here.
A long and not very comfortable wait at senai airport to check in to the airasia flight highlighted the inadequacies of the airport. My first experience of the plains of the airport runway. The night flight highlighted the star constellations in the sky. and the clusters of light signifying the settlements in borneo.
Singgahsana lodge has a homelike atmosphere, carpets, lounge chairs and the no-shoes policy which I simply love. bed was the oh-so-familiar ikea silver metal-frame bunkbed. With a familiar set of blankets. The public corridors and lounge spaces would be home to all 40 students, where working and lying on the floor till wee-hours of the morning would be common over the next 2 weeks.
Dinner/supper at khatulistiwa café till early in the morning 1 or 2am. a long wait for the food. The first look at Sarawak river.
Day 2: 2nd June 08, Monday
The first feel of the shophouses around the area. The vibrancy of the life in kuching. Lectures about kuching and the shophouses. Trapdoors, timber frames, rafters, louvered windows and clay tile roofs. The modified, the new and the old. The government-institutions- and the people-shophouses. Appreciate: the beauty of the river, the mountains and the vegetation. Getting to know: the richness of the area.
煮炒Dinner @ taman kereta. Food for 50 people takes a long time to come. Starting to understand the pace of the place.
Day 3: 3rd June 08, Tuesday
Say hi to the market! The vibrancy of the place can never be forgotten. The start of the urban study that will teach us that nothing is messy, only vibrant. Getting to know almost a whole new group of people. Pandas and artists and technical specialists, people with their own take on things and the study. Understanding different cultures and the language barrier. First sight of the fish market left me captivated by its architecture and the everyday processes going on in and around the building.
Gambier street, india street, the South Indian mosque, lorong yang sempit (a narrow lane that cuts from gambier street to india street), lorong kaijoo and associated streets deeper from the river. To be inseparable for the next 4 weeks.
Day 4: 4th June 08, Wednesday
Falling for the friendliness of the people. Conversation became easy. Finally got to involve myself in 1st hand experiences with the locals, asking and sharing, in the course of architecture. Which is what I feel it should be about. Learning the stories of the area or the back streets overshadowed by the market and india street. An area that we could have touched on more in the urban study. Former coffin street and etc. appreciating the journey through these streets, the variety of experiences formed by the buildings and the ‘organic growth’ (to quote). Learning: that everything is there for a practical reason.
Day 5: 5th June 08, Thursday
Getting in touch with the market itself. Understanding the reluctance to move to Stutong market and their resignation to their fate. Learning and appreciating the layers of history marked and recorded in the building. Seeing everyday life played out. Appreciating every process that goes on in the market. Maybe it’s because I’m a kid from the city. Seeing the layers of activities and how they are all interconnected and dependent on each other.
Day 6: 6th June 08, Friday
Butter papers, notebooks full of interview information, laptops filled with pictures strewn all over the tables, floors, chairs of singgahsana lodge. Legs, arms everywhere. Maps, sketches. All rushing for the presentation.
Another presentation on Monday doesn’t sound appetizing.
It's a long, long journey Till I know where I'm supposed to be It's a long, long journey and I don't know if I can believe When shadows fall and block my eyes I am lost and know that I must hide It's a long, long journey Till I find my way home to you
Many days I've spent Drifting on through empty shores Wondering what's my purpose Wondering how to make me strong I know I will falter I know I will cry I know you'll be standing by my side It's a long, long journey And I need to be close to you
Sometimes it seems no one understands I don't even know why I do the things I do When pride builds me up till I can't see my soul Will you break down these walls and pull me through?
'Cause it's a long, long journey Till I feel that I am worth the price You paid for me on calvary Beneath those stormy skies When Satan mocks and friends turn to foes It feels like everything is out to make me lose control It's a long, long journey Till I find my way home to you